I’m a traditionalist at heart my dears. So when my best friend, Fenella, told me she and her husband are separating I was a little disappointed. Sad that they’re splitting up of course (although Hugh had a terrible habit of staring at my bosoms) but also disappointed because I don’t think people try hard enough at relationships these days.
It’s too easy to split up isn’t? Women have so many choices now. My Grandmother, on the other hand, stuck at her loveless marriage for sixty years purely for Queen and Country (and King when she first got married). That’s the spirit us women need.
I think careers distract many women from their family duties. I know you won’t like what I say here dears: but women are trying to do it all and it doesn’t work. I once had a promising career as a particle physicist. There I was doing some pioneering research on Spin-Statistic Theory (focussing on fermions) when I bumped into Des at my Alpaca Rearing evening class. The rest, as they say, is history.
I forewent my promising career to become a wife and mother. And I can’t tell you the fulfilment it brings me. I love to cook and craft and nurture. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than providing for my family. I love the joy on Des’s face when he tucks into my mung bean flan. And seeing my daughters skipping in the garden wearing the matching dresses I made out of a secondhand duvet cover is a sight to behold.
Money’s tight my dears because we only have once income. But we cut our cloth accordingly. I knit the children’s school uniforms and we’ve made all our furniture ourselves from whatever we find in skips. Friends laugh at our sofa made from recycled pallets and they’re even more tickled by our bed which has been fashioned out of a bathtub and three toilets! They say we’re barking mad!
As for Des and I, things haven’t always been easy in our marriage. There was a strange episode eight years ago when Des started smoking pot with the neighbours’ eighteen year old daughter. But we’ve recovered from that now. I think he was having a funny moment. Men do that don’t they?
And as for the career I gave up, well I miss it of course I do. But I continue to keep up with developments in particle physics and have attended several lectures by Professor Stephen Hawking. Your brain doesn’t have to suffer just because you stop working. And I make an enormous contribution to the community dears. At the moment I’m teaching the forgotten art of doily making to socially excluded teenage boys (every Tuesday at 2pm) and I’m the Treasurer for an incredible charity called Tri-Mutt which supports three legged dogs living on the streets of Manila. If I worked I wouldn’t have time for these valuable projects.
And I wouldn’t have time for my wonderful children and Des. I put them first in everything I do. Their problems are my problems and their joy is my joy. And very occasionally, when all my work is done, I put my feet up with a glass of organic tomato juice. Because it’s important to treat yourself occasionally isn’t it? Sometimes I add a fresh leaf of basil too. I think Fenella could learn a lot from me
Emily O from BabyRambles was being Dee in this post. If you would like to be Dee or Des for a day email us at firstname.lastname@example.org