Friday, November 5, 2010

Women Should Put Family First

I’m a traditionalist at heart my dears. So when my best friend, Fenella, told me she and her husband are separating I was a little disappointed. Sad that they’re splitting up of course (although Hugh had a terrible habit of staring at my bosoms) but also disappointed because I don’t think people try hard enough at relationships these days.

It’s too easy to split up isn’t? Women have so many choices now. My Grandmother, on the other hand, stuck at her loveless marriage for sixty years purely for Queen and Country (and King when she first got married). That’s the spirit us women need.

I think careers distract many women from their family duties. I know you won’t like what I say here dears: but women are trying to do it all and it doesn’t work. I once had a promising career as a particle physicist. There I was doing some pioneering research on Spin-Statistic Theory (focussing on fermions) when I bumped into Des at my Alpaca Rearing evening class. The rest, as they say, is history.

I forewent my promising career to become a wife and mother. And I can’t tell you the fulfilment it brings me. I love to cook and craft and nurture. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than providing for my family. I love the joy on Des’s face when he tucks into my mung bean flan. And seeing my daughters skipping in the garden wearing the matching dresses I made out of a secondhand duvet cover is a sight to behold.

Money’s tight my dears because we only have once income. But we cut our cloth accordingly. I knit the children’s school uniforms and we’ve made all our furniture ourselves from whatever we find in skips. Friends laugh at our sofa made from recycled pallets and they’re even more tickled by our bed which has been fashioned out of a bathtub and three toilets! They say we’re barking mad!

As for Des and I, things haven’t always been easy in our marriage. There was a strange episode eight years ago when Des started smoking pot with the neighbours’ eighteen year old daughter. But we’ve recovered from that now. I think he was having a funny moment. Men do that don’t they?

And as for the career I gave up, well I miss it of course I do. But I continue to keep up with developments in particle physics and have attended several lectures by Professor Stephen Hawking. Your brain doesn’t have to suffer just because you stop working. And I make an enormous contribution to the community dears. At the moment I’m teaching the forgotten art of doily making to socially excluded teenage boys (every Tuesday at 2pm) and I’m the Treasurer for an incredible charity called Tri-Mutt which supports three legged dogs living on the streets of Manila. If I worked I wouldn’t have time for these valuable projects.

And I wouldn’t have time for my wonderful children and Des. I put them first in everything I do. Their problems are my problems and their joy is my joy. And very occasionally, when all my work is done, I put my feet up with a glass of organic tomato juice. Because it’s important to treat yourself occasionally isn’t it? Sometimes I add a fresh leaf of basil too. I think Fenella could learn a lot from me

Emily O from BabyRambles was being Dee in this post. If you would like to be Dee or Des for a day email us at

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Initially Confused

The mummy blogging community is a very friendly and inclusive one, but like all communities, it can be a bit daunting when you first join. And like many communities, it has its own language, which you have to learn. Being something of a new bee myself, I confess that I found all those sets of initials that people use a bit off-putting, until I worked out what they all stand for. I thought it might be helpful for other new bees if I gave you a list. So this is for all you uninitiated bloggers out there, or un-initial-ated, I should say!

LOL – at first I thought this meant ‘lots of love’, because the mummy blogging community is so supportive and caring, but now I know it means ‘laugh out loud’. So you use this when you think something is funny. It tells people that you are laughing, but it’s shorter than writing “I think this is really funny”.

PMSL – this is similar to LOL. It means ‘post myself laughing’, as in posting a blog post – except you’re posting yourself!

ROFL –this is one of those that really reflects just how caring and sharing the blogging community is. It stands for ‘reach out for love’. You use it if you want to say ((((hugs)))) to someone, but without the hugs.

Sometimes you see ROTFL, which is basically the same: ‘reach out there for love’. Or ROTFLMAO, which just emphasizes the point: ‘reach out there for love, me and others’. What a fantastic community we are!

IMHO – stands for ‘I’m hoping’. Here’s an example of how you could use it in context: “The government cuts won’t be as bad as all the doom merchants are predicting, IMHO”.

There. Hope that helps, or HTH, as we might say!

There is one set of initials that I’ve never managed to work out. Maybe someone out there can enlighten me. It’s WTF. I mean, what the heck could that possibly stand for?

Iota from The Iota Quota was being Dee in this post. If you would like a chance to write as Dee or Des then simply email us at

Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Spot Of Cottaging

D'you know, I used to really like that Stephen Fry chap on the telly, he was always very funny in Blackadder, although obviously not as funny as Rowan Atkinson (unless he's playing that awful Bean character who I can't stand) but after the news on Twitter earlier, well, I'm not sure I could ever look him in the face again. Knowing that he'd done...that.  Disgusting!

Never mind the fact that he caused me untold embarrassment when I announced to the world on Twitter that Des and I quite enjoy a bit of cottaging! Well, my cheeks have never been so flamed when I found out what it really meant and Des is furious with me. He didn't want us to join Twitter in the first place, a load of old rubbish he said it was, but I told him, we need to keep up with these trends if we are going to blog. Well he's not letting me use Twitter today as punishment (I expect he's going out to the pub in a bit though so I'll probably be able to squeeze a little bit in later)

I know what we do is frowned upon by some, and it's not strictly moral, and no doubt little baby Jesus wouldn't like it much, but then he's a baby and that sort of thing wouldn't interest him much anyway, but I didn't realise what I was saying when I called it cottaging. Now I understand why Des always told me off when I called our little hobby that. Well, I say our hobby but it's more my thing to be honest, but Des always goes along with it to keep me happy, although secretly I think he'd rather be down the pub. But I do love a good nosey around other people's homes, especially those cute little white washed cottages on the coast and even though the local estate agents have realised we are not buyers and we have to go further a field these days, we still manage to fit a bit of cottaging in at the weekends.

Except I can't call it that anymore, the name has been sullied.

Honestly I had no idea that some people were so depraved, to go around viewing other people's cottages and have S.E.X. whilst they are there! Disgusting. No wonder the estate agents always watch us like hawks when we are looking around them. I said to Des, there's no way we are letting that Stephen Fry come to look around our house when we sell it, you'd have to wipe down all the surfaces and wash the bedding afterwards, just in case. I know it's not a cottage but still, you can never be too sure. Dirty little man.

I wonder if they'd call it bungalowing...

Heather from Note From Lapland was writing as Dee in this post.  If you'd like to write a post as Dee or Des just send them an email

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